We Can’t, without love – 23rd Ordinary Time, Year C

So, one homily down, 29,999 (ish) to go!

The full Homilies are below, in English and en Español. I’ve also attached the original draft, and the “final” English and Spanish written versions, for posterity. 🙂

Some of my favorite moments of the ordination liturgy were…

  • Bishop Coerver’s eyes when I made my promise to respect and obey him and his successors.
  • The heartfelt hugs at the sign of peace with the Bishop and my fellow deacons.
  • The kind and joyful smile in Bishop Rodriguez’s eyes when we exchanged a silent greeting after I shared a greeting of peace with Bishop Coerver.
  • Bishop Coerver taking baby Elizabeth at the offertory to give her a grandfatherly snuggle.
  • Re-discovering what an amazing camera ninja Kristin Bednarz is, and getting to see things from another perspective. I don’t know how she gets to all the right places at all the right times… bilocation?

As I served at my first masses, I learned (or re-learned)…

  • I’m not loud enough. I knew this, but I thought I was making enough of an adjustment. I wasn’t.
  • Serving with another deacon is something that requires practice.
  • Stay flexible and alert.
  • Wear a light shirt, but thick enough to soak up some sweat.
  • We should burn people at the stake who donate attractive, but drippy flagons and pitchers for wine. (just kidding…mostly)
  • A trained and attentive server is an incredible blessing.
  • It’s a blessing to have a pastor who cares enough about the sacrifice of the mass to kindly offer suggestions and corrections.
  • People are kind when they know you’re a baby Deacon. 🙂

As I prepared for my first homily, I learned…

  • I’m going to talk more than I think I will, and interject little repetitions or interactions with the assembly. Those are going to add significant time as compared to a straight reading at home. I don’t want to just read them a homily, so I need to start with something too short, so that when I interject or repeat, I don’t go way over a reasonable time limit.
  • I need to read the scriptures in both languages before I write anything. I was all ready to go with my super long homily, which I thought was not too long at all, then my friend, Deacon Adrian, mentioned that the Spanish translation of the gospel was significantly different.
  • It’s worth getting other eyes on the homily before giving it the first time. I benefited greatly from Deacon Adrian, and my pastor, Father Jacob, reviewing my draft.
  • My time frame this time was compressed, because I knew I wanted to have a rough draft ready, but finalize the homily post-ordination. In the future, I want to get feedback in sufficient time to apply it better. By the time I figured out I had three homilies (hate, love, and trust), it was too late to find a good ending for love, or a good beginning for trust, and just give the one homily. As a result, I could cut the homily on hate, but people had to listen to one and two thirds homilies on love and trust.
  • I still need a good native Mexican reviewer for my Spanish homily. I shudder to think of who I may have scandalized with my awful accent and limited vocabulary augmented by google.
  • People are kind when they know you’re a baby Deacon. 🙂

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New wine, new wineskin

Likewise, no one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the new wine will burst the skins, and it will be spilled, and the skins will be ruined. Rather, new wine must be poured into fresh wineskins. And no one who has been drinking old wine desires new, for he says, ‘The old is good.’

Friday of the Twenty-second Week in Ordinary Time
Lectionary: 435, Luke 5:33-39

The thing I perhaps most look forward to experiencing with ordination, is the ontological change I’ve seen as a result of the grace of ordination in other lives around me. I don’t know how God will change me, but I know I’ll be changed. Meditating upon this, and pondering how I can recognize and cooperate with this grace, I was particularly struck by this gospel passage.

We know the Bible points to wine as a symbol of the Holy Spirit, and of joy. I’d never stopped to think on this passage in that context, however. Joy resides in the heart. We might, then, re-read this scripture without utterly corrupting it as:

Likewise, no one pours new joy into old hearts. Otherwise, the new joy will burst the heart, and it will be ruined, and the heart will be ruined. Rather, new joy must be poured into fresh hearts. And no one who has been appreciating old joys desires new, for he says, ‘The old is good.’

God gives us a new heart (Ezekiel 36:26) in baptism, when we receive the Holy Spirit, and in ordination. As a child of God, I am called to serve, but as a deacon, I am a servant. I don’t mean to over-state or misrepresent the degree or nature of change, but it’s somewhere on the spectrum between the entirely new heart we receive with the grace of baptism, and the renewed heart (“Create in me a clean heart…” Psalm 51:10) we pray for in the process of continual conversion.

My point, then – God has new joys for us. These joys will stretch our hearts, and simply won’t fit in a dried up and rigid old hearts, so God’s given us new hearts. But likewise, if we cling too tightly to the joys we previously celebrated, we rob ourselves of the opportunity to receive, embrace, and share the new joys God has in store for us.

What joys am I called to let go, so I have room in my heart for the new joys God offers? Where am I rigid, and need to become more flexible, so God can stretch my heart to make room for something new?


Conclusion – The Joyful Mysteries – A guide for discernment – LeRoy’s Mirror

This is the conclusion to a short series on the Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary as a guide for discernment. The introduction and “index” are here. The previous mystery, The Finding in the Temple, is here.

Hail, holy Queen, Mother of mercy, hail, our life, our sweetness and our hope. To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve: to thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this vale of tears. Turn then, most gracious Advocate, thine eyes of mercy toward us, and after this our exile, show unto us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus, O merciful, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary! Amen.

Whatever we are discerning, this is key. Look upon Jesus. Ask his mother to show him to you ever more clearly.

O God, Whose only-begotten Son, by His life, death and resurrection, has purchased for us the rewards of eternal life, grant, we beseech You, that meditating upon these Mysteries of the Holy Rosary of the Blessed Virgin Mary, we may imitate what they contain, and obtain what they promise, through the same Christ, our Lord. Amen.

Whatever we receive, this is key. All is gift.

I hope this little series on the Joyful Mysteries as a guide for discernment has blessed you, and encouraged you to think on the mysteries of the life of Christ in a fresh way.

I also want to share two last items tangentially related. The first is to highly recommend the Ignation process and principles of decision making. These two resources are particularly helpful.

Finally, I want to leave you with what I’ve decided to call LeRoy’s Mirror.

Deacon LeRoy Behnke passed along a singularly helpful tool in discernment and decision making. It’s a tool I apply to every difficult decision, and one I hope you’ll find helpful.

When considering possible decisions, it is a good idea to list the Pros and Cons of each, and apply sound reason, without being overly swayed by emotion. This will, usually, result in a good decision.

 

If, however, a “good” decision is insufficient, and you are seeking the “best” decision, or if multiple options appear equally valid, you’ll need to go a little deeper.

 

Go deeper by asking the question: Why would I choose this option?

 

This is not simply a restatement of the Pros and Cons. This is asking “why would I choose this option? What motives of my heart would direct me to choose this option?”

Most of the time, an (honest) evaluation of my intrinsic motives for choosing a particular option or making a particular decision is the most valuable tool in my toolbox.


If You Love Something – The Finding in the Temple

This is part five of a short series on the Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary as a guide for discernment. The introduction and “index” are here. The previous mystery, The Presentation in the Temple, is here. The conclusion is here.

The Finding in the Temple

William Holman Hunt – The Finding of the Saviour in the Temple

Joseph and Mary lose track of Jesus on the way home from Jerusalem after the feast of Passover. They look everywhere for three days, then find him in the temple, in “my Father’s house,” and “about my Father’s business.” Also, you might find interesting my previous thoughts on why this is a joyful mystery.

  • The revelation, call, or idea takes on a life of its own.
  • It surprises us.
  • It’s “ours” no longer.

With most things we might discern, there’s a long phase of participating in the daily work following the pondering, preparing, perceiving, and presenting. This hidden time, like the childhood of Jesus, is precious. It’s a time of both difficulty, and of joy, as we participate in the growth of our idea, vocation, or call. It’s real, now, we’re just nurturing its growth.

The day should come, however, when we are surprised that this thing we pondered, prepared, perceived, presented, and participated in, takes on a life of its own. If it is a theological insight, another may revise, improve, or clarify. Perhaps they even refute the insight. That doesn’t mean the insight was bad, nor that we discerned incorrectly whether we should share it. It may only mean that it was incomplete. Perhaps it was a stepping stone God chose to use. If it is a call to vocation, we will likely discover there is yet another call within the call. If it is a call to establish a ministry, others will likely take on the mantle of leadership, perhaps even leading it, like St Peter, in ways we wouldn’t have envisioned or preferred.

Anxiety is a reasonable response to this turn of events. Yes, I know, we are instructed to be anxious for nothing, but… Joseph and Mary were anxious… so.. yeah.

Ultimately, this should be our greatest joy, and the most certain consolation affirming that we’ve correctly discerned God’s will.

An excessive sense of ownership is perhaps the greatest obstacle to that joy.

This theological insight, vocation, call, or whatever it is we’ve discerned, is a gift.

A gift.

Do not cling to it too tightly. Cling to the giver.

Do not stifle its growth with a hovering sense of self-importance. This is God’s thing. We were just the conduit through whom God chose to poor out some blessing.

For that, give thanks!


The Testimony of Two Witnesses – The Presentation in the Temple

This is part four of a short series on the Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary as a guide for discernment. The introduction and “index” are here. The previous mystery, The Nativity of Jesus, is here. The next mystery, The Finding in the Temple, is here.

The Presentation in the Temple

Ambrogio_Lorenzetti_ Presentazione di Gesù al tempio

Joseph and Mary bring Jesus to the temple. Simeon identifies him as the messiah. Anna evangelizes.

  • Present your revelation, call, or idea to the church. No, not just your tio Juan.
  • Do they receive it joyfully, but realistically?
  • Does it call them to action?

The time has come. Jesus needs to be presented at the temple (more on that in my earlier post, here). Whatever we’re discerning, the time comes that we have to take concrete next steps, or discern that we should not. It’s time to commit, one way or the other.

For many things we might need to discern, there’s “a way” to do that. For a vocation, there’s ecclesiastical or religious authority. For a new ministry, there’s the pastor and community. For a theological insight, there are experts we should consult. With very rare exception, discernment does not lead to disobedience. With very rare exception, we are not called to cry “torpedo’s be da*ned, full speed ahead!” Most of the time, we should present our discernment to the appropriate ecclesial institution or authority, and trust the Holy Spirit to work. That said, sometimes we must be like Mel Gibson’s William Wallace in Braveheart, and recognize the difference between “No!” and “No the now, anyway…”

Simeon is a righteous and devout man. The Holy Spirit brings him to the temple that day, where he praises God, affirms this child as the salvation of the world, and gives a dire warning that the road ahead will be marked with suffering. His response is not an empty “you go, girl!” – but is both joyful and realistic.

Anna is a prophetess, continually living in the temple. Her response is first to give thanks to God, then go share the good news.

How is our call, idea, or vocation received by ecclesial authorities? How is it received by righteous and devout people? Do they praise God in response? Are their affirmations substantive, and meaningful? Are a few inspired to pick up the banner, and march with us? I may be a misunderstood holy genius, but if nobody accepts my theological insight, call, or vocation, I’m probably just misunderstanding… Jewish law required a pair of witnesses to establish the truth of a claim. That’s a good minimum standard for us, too.