No Answers…
20th Sunday of Ordinary Time, Year A
Do you ever feel like the Canaanite woman? Do you ever feel like Jesus isn’t listening, and isn’t helping? Do you ask repeatedly, but seem to get no answer, and no help?
If you feel this way, you are not alone. Abram sought God, but God said nothing to him from the time Ishmael was born, until the boy turned thirteen. When God asked Abraham to offer Isaac as a sacrifice, Abraham was obedient. He took the journey, and God said nothing. He climbed the mountain, and God said nothing. He prepared the fire, and God said nothing. He laid his son on the altar, and God said nothing.
Job lost everything. He lost his wealth, his family, his friends, and his health. For a long time, God said nothing, and his friends were unhelpful. Saint Teresa of Calcutta sought God and served God faithfully by caring for the poor, but God said nothing for forty years. Saint Ignatius of Loyola, co-founder of the Jesuits, had a profound and prolonged and frequent experience of God’s silence. The experience moved him to create a set of spiritual exercises to help people going through times of desolation.
So, if we feel like the Canaanite woman, we are not alone. Sometimes, God says nothing.
Of course, God is always speaking, even when we can’t hear it. The psalms tell us that the heavens constantly proclaim the glory of God. And, sometimes, God is speaking, but we don’t listen. Perhaps sin closes our ears and our hearts. Perhaps God already spoke, and we have not been obedient, or did not like God’s answer. Perhaps we are demanding God speaks to us in a certain dramatic way, instead of listening for the small whisper of his voice that Elijah recognized as the voice of God.
But, what about those times where we are honestly trying to hear God’s voice, doing our very best to avoid sin and to go to confession when we fall, and… nothing?
Sometimes, God says nothing, or even seems to give us an unhelpful answer, so that we can grow. When an infant wants something, they cry, and we bring it to them. We come to them, and pick them up. But, when a child gets a little older, what do we do? We ask them to use their words. We encourage them to move themselves to the toy. We offer them a red toy or a black toy, and ask them to choose one. Do we love the child less than we did when they were an infant? Why are we making them work and wait for what they want? Because we love them, and we are helping them to grow.
God is the same. I need to grow in patience, so God gives me opportunities to wait. I need to grow in love of my neighbor, so God brings difficult people into my life. I need to grow in love of God, so God hides from me, so that I will recognize my need and desire God more.
And, sometimes, your waiting, your patience, and your suffering are for my benefit, too. My grandfather cared for my grandmother for over a dozen years as she suffered from Alzheimers. My sons and I learned what it is to be a husband by watching his example. My mother has suffered to “Job-level” degrees as she lost her health, her ability to work, her sense of self-worth, her husband, her family, her friends, her dreams… everything, because she said “I choose God.” Are either of them perfect? No, but we do not have to be perfect for God to use our lives to teach others.
So, if you feel like the Canaanite woman, it is OK. From her example, I am learning a few things…
She asks God for what she wants, clearly.
She acknowledges that Jesus is Lord, and King.
She is persistent, but also patient.
She worships, even though she has not received her desire.
She simply asks for help, with no demands or conditions.
She is humble, accepting that she is like a dog eating scraps.
This week, I will pray for your intentions every day. I will pray that you will grow as God desires, and receive the help you need. Please, in your compassion, do the same for me.
