A Brief Rant on an Unmarried Girl’s Unplanned Pregnancy
It is recently popular to speak of Jesus as an unmarried girl’s unplanned pregnancy. People who say this mean no harm, but they are certainly untrue. I am not going to do so here, but I think we could make a logical argument that both these ideas might be even blasphemous. At the very least, the implications based upon the perceived parallel to today’s culture are grossly misleading.
The Gospel tells us that “Mary was betrothed to Joseph.”
This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about.
When his mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found with child through the Holy Spirit. Joseph her husband, since he was a righteous man, yet unwilling to expose her to shame, decided to divorce her quietly.
Such was his intention when, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home. For it is through the Holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her. She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”
All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel, which means “God is with us.”
When Joseph awoke, he did as the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took his wife into his home.
Matthew 1: 18-24
The marriage customs of that time were very different from the customs in current day Texas. We have a pretty good understanding of those customs from both scriptures and from Jewish tradition. (Jewish Encyclopedia is helpful here.)
The betrothal and marriage process went something like this:
- The couple and their families would agree privately.
- The couple would exchange rings, and express their public consent. They would commit to obey regulations about what is proper after marriage, but not during betrothal.
- The couple would live separately for about one year.
- At the end of the betrothal period, there would be a wedding feast in a place the bridegroom prepared.
- During the wedding feast, there is a home-taking ceremony, in which the bridegroom welcomes the bride to live in the home he has prepared for her.
A betrothed couple was considered man and wife for all legal and religious purposes except cohabitation. They had all of the legal rights of marriage, except for those rights that lead to the birth of children. Separation after betrothal required a divorce, not simply a change of plans.
The scripture agrees – Did you notice that the gospel says they are betrothed, but it also says “Joseph her husband…” and “do not be afraid to take Mary your wife…” and again that Joseph “took his wife into his home…”?
Saint Joseph and the Blessed Virgin were not unmarried. Their betrothal made them married according to the scriptures, and according to the law and custom of their times.
It was also not an unplanned pregnancy, but a free and conscious decision to welcome a child into their marriage. The Blessed Virgin gave her full and perfect consent in her fiat at the annunciation. Saint Joseph, likewise, gives consent through his actions in response to the angel’s message.
Why does this idea of betrothal matter, other than to criticize well meaning pro-life billboards and internet memes?
The Church is the bride of Christ, but our marriage is not yet consummated. We are betrothed to Christ the Lord.
Yes, we have a certain degree of unity with Christ through the Holy Spirit, and in the Eucharist today. A few souls already experience this unity almost perfectly. But we all await the wedding feast of the Lamb. We await the day of our perfect and mystical union with Christ.
Until then, how do we live? Do we live like Saint Joseph and the Blessed Virgin? Do we live as the spouse of Christ? Do we take our betrothal seriously?
Or, do we more often spend our time “sowing wild oats” and enjoying the bachelor(ette) party?
