God has not spoken to me much the past few days, and I hate it.

God has not spoken to me much the past few days, and I hate it.

I was depressed yesterday and could not bear the thought of praying. I have recognized that tendency in myself before. Instead of pleading for his presence, I withdraw. There could hardly be a more foolish response. I do not watch much TV, but I sat down last night with my love and we watched “America’s Next Top Model” and “American Idol” together. One of the wannabe models was released because she just didn’t have passion. Bo was low in the Idol vote count, and I was disappointed that he was too cool to care. It wasn’t until this morning that I realized that I am having the same problem.

I realized this morning that it is not primarily His guidance I miss, but His presence. His word promises that He will give guidance, and He has been faithful to do so. God rarely gives instructions in a time and manner of my choosing, but, in retrospect, His timing is always perfect. Jesus is my Lord, and he directs my steps, but it is my friend Jesus that I miss. I miss His warmth, His comfort, His whispered “peace, be still”, and His occasional “Rock on Brother!” The sad thing is that I miss it only because I have failed to ask for it.

We value most those things we have lacked. For the family who has lost a child, the promise that “No longer will there be in it an infant who lives but a few days” rings loudly. Of the promises in Isaiah 65, one is dearest to my heart: “It will also come to pass that before they call, I will answer, and while they are still speaking, I will hear.” The Lord has taught me to thirst for Him. When I stop thirsting, He is kind enough to withdraw His presence until I draw near to Him again with my heart.

God has not spoken to me much the past few days, and it has been a blessing.

2 thoughts on “God has not spoken to me much the past few days, and I hate it.

  1. swimsupstream

    Jesus replied, “I am the bread of life. No one who comes to me will ever be hungry again. Those who believe in me will never thirst.” John 6:35 NLT Does this mean when you feel "alone" you are not believing?

  2. e

    Hrm. If those who come to him never hunger and those who believe never thirst, then either we’re not believing or we’re not coming to him. In my case, I wasn’t coming to him. I know intellectually that my Lord is a gentleman and that if I ask for His presence He will come. In practice, however, I was asking for His guidance and not for his presence, so that’s what I got. My greek goes about as deep as looking up Strong’s numbers, but it looks like the phrases “he that cometh” (erchomai) and “he that believeth” (pisteuo) are both in the present middle participle, which implies ongoing activity, not one-time events. So it isn’t that we “get saved” and never hunger and thirst again, but that as long as we’re com_ing_ to him and believ_ing_ in him, we won’t hunger or thirst. Ideally, we’re constantly coming to Him… I’m not sure how to reconcile this with Him abiding with us except that He remains a gentleman always. I’m also not sure how to reconcile this thought with the thoughts some have expressed about the Lord leading us through dry experiences as part of our maturation process.

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